Friday, September 2, 2011

The elusive brahmin bride

A majority of the boys in the brahmin community are still in search of the Elusive bride .The Girls of the brahmin community are all well educated with fat pay checks ,own house ( houses of their own , not their parents) and hence have become independent decision makers .In the olden days the elders of the family such as thai mama , thatha ,paatti, sometimes even neighbours used to advise the grown up children who had attained marriagable age regarding the choice of a good spuouse and they were to a great extent influential in the selection of the bride / groom.
Nowadays the entire life style has changed.The prospective bride / groom are first wed to an electeonic device ( Ipod/Smart phone /Tablet PC) to such an extent that the physical spouse is only given a secondary status in life.
There is no denial of the fact that the brahmin society had been a largely male dominated
(Male chauvinistic society) one for a good period ( say 90 years from 1901 - 1990 ).But with the advent of Liberalisation in India in the 1990's all that changed.The girls studied well and outperformed the boys in Education/Jobs.from 1990 to 2010 by some coincidence the number of girls available for marriage vis a vis boys has also drastically reduced. According to many Jathaga parivarthan kendras there are approximately 8 boys per girl.That is to say the girl can now choose one boy from eight boys.In fact if the happenings of today are a pointer for things to come in the future we are not far off from the days of the Pandavas ( 5 of them were married to one Draupadi)
Inter caste marriages are on the rise.Marriages are now a matter of convenience.Divorce rates are on the rise like never before. 

Nowadays many prospective Grooms look to the internet for searching for suitable brides.There are at least 100 sites catering to such bride hunters .Shaadi,BharatMatrimony,KMM,IyengarMatrimony,Manamaalai,Swayamvaram are some of the leading websites.These websites host the particulars of the bride to be with their CV/Family particulars/Religion/Caste/Hobbies/Partner preferences etc with or without foto.The general human tendency of any person male or female would be to know how his/her would be bride/groom looks like.Nowadays most would be brides post their profiles on their own .But for some these are posted by their siblings or parents or friends.Nearly 60 % of the brides fotos are not published on the website due to some unknown reason (mostly fear which is sometimes unjustified) either by the brides themselves or their siblings or parents or friends.

I have been searching for a suitable bride for my younger brother thru  Bharat matrimony ,for the past 6 months.we have been searching for a suitable girl ,we have not been able to find any.Since we would like to know how the bride looks like we send a mail thru the website's own send mail option requesting for a foto .Most of the brides or their parents do not even have the basic etiquette to either acknowledge our mail or phone us and tell "sorry ,we can't send the photograph of our bride since our interests are not mutually compatible "or pl.excuse me ,I am already engaged .All that we expect is a reply to our query.If the prospective bride does not want to marry an x or Y groom ,it is her choice.No one can force her.But she or her parents or siblings or parents whoever happens to see the query posted thru the websites should have the basic etiquette and manners to decline either politely or otherwise as they deem.But displaying a stone in a well attitude is despicable and very frustrating (Kinathula potta Kallu" in Tamil ).If the above said cannot even reciprocate a communication and terminate the conversation initiated by one side what is the use of their American / English /Indian education ? .They are to be treated on par with illiterates as their education does not serve any practical purpose.
This is a bitter pill to swallow no doubt.But it is the truth.

I request all parents/siblings/friends and prospective brides to kindly ponder over these points

3 comments:

Unknown said...

It is very heart breaking to read..but apart frm d studies the stupidity to stick on to the old traditions like same sect star matching jatakas also driving boys for intercaste marriages..by another decade no true brahmin exists

Unknown said...

It is very heart breaking to read..but apart frm d studies the stupidity to stick on to the old traditions like same sect star matching jatakas also driving boys for intercaste marriages..by another decade no true brahmin exists

Unknown said...

IT IS FACT.PARENTS PROVIDE GOOD EDUCATION TO GIRL CHILD TO MAKE HER TO STAND ON HER OWN LEGS. BUT ONCE THEY START EARNING, THEY BECOME THE DECISION MAKERS. THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO THE PARENTS. THEY TAKE THEIR OWN DECISION AND IT FINALLY ENDS IN FAMILY PROBLEMS.